you begin at the end of your comfort zone
on getting to know yourself at the edge of familiar space
I recently found myself in a late night diner listening to experimental jazz with a handful of strangers. I’ve never been the type to show up to an event alone, but I was on that occasion for some reason. The potential awkwardness of having no one to talk to was a small barrier considering local live music was involved, and as I weighed the pros and cons I had a perspective altering thought; I know what will happen if I don’t go, but I don’t know what will happen if I do. With that, I grabbed my car keys, popped 10mgs of CBD to assure no u-turns would be pulled at the door and headed to the diner.
Waiting for the show to begin, I sat between two empty stools and it wasn’t long before two patrons sat on either side of me and sparked a conversation over short stack pancakes and coffee. The things I didn’t know would happen had already begun. I tilled a new area of my personality outside the limits of my usual self – showing up alone, initiating conversations with strangers, appearing very comfortable in my skin. This all felt so different from the reactionary signs of life most of us display on a daily basis. This was a full bodied participation in the co-creation of life. By the end of the show I was brought into the fold of musicians and listeners who all seemed to know each other, and I walked to my car knowing that the person I am at the edge of my comfort zone is the version of myself I desire to experience most.